New Year, New Body

Happy New Year everyone! 2020, new year, new me. That’s what most people think at the start of a new year. So many new possibilities and opportunities to start fresh, to turn over a new leaf. A whole new year to achieve everything that you have always wanted to achieve. I strongly believe that one truly can start fresh if they really want to, which is why every new year I start by writing my goals and resolutions down in hope of a happier and more successful year.


The most common resolution, which I too am guilty of, is becoming some fitness, healthy eating guru with abs like some Victoria Secret model or Marvel comics superhero. The reality is that I have written that goal down since I was 13 but never achieved it. Why? Well, apart from the obvious lack of determination and willpower ( and my love for chocolate), I wonder whether my intentions to achieve this goal was overshadowed by why I should really be trying to be healthy. In the end, the reason why most people write, “ Getting fit” into their resolutions usually isn’t because they just want to live a healthier lifestyle, at least at first it isn’t. This is where social media becomes our worst enemy.

Source: Madonna Sebastian, Pinterest


What inspired me to write this article is a post I saw on my Instagram feed the day after New Years stating that women should stop making our goals about our bodies and focus on intelligent goals that will make us stronger mentally and that will give us stability. I see where this post was going. I feel that so many resolutions have become superficial in many ways, have a killer body, obtain X number of followers on Instagram, etc. Nonetheless, I also have my issues with it.


Personally, I have struggled with the way I viewed my body since middle school, believing I was not skinny enough, too curvy, too short. I look back at photos and think, how could I have said that to myself when I was 13? It progressively got worse but it isn’t something I would ever let anyone know. My body, like most women, has been one of my biggest insecurities. I know that many who know me and are reading this are perhaps surprised? I always seemed so confident in my outfits or at least it’s because I just pretended to be comfortable. Thing is, I have always been a good liar, which is not necessarily a good thing but it continues to be one of the things that I do every day, pretend I’m ok when I’m not, smile and act like all is well. This is why, in 2020 one of my goals is to be honest to myself, to others and social media, starting with this article. Why is it that we pretend to be fine when we are not? Why is it that society has forced us, both men and women, to put on masks and to pretend as if we are always happy and ok when the majority of us aren’t? I refuse to continue to be dictated by society on how I should act, I refuse to be called hysterical if I’m emotional, or not beautiful because I’m not deemed by society good enough to walk a runway.


Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not shaming the fitness gurus and models out there, the contrary, I admire you for your strength and determination and I know that for you too it isn’t always easy. What I’m getting at is that I want to change the narrative of how people view themselves. Our bodies are just the starting point where we try to be like everyone else and to fit into the margins of society. I no longer want to hear my friends claim they are too big or too skinny because the reality is they are perfect just the way they are. Why is it not good enough that everyone looks the way they do and are all beautiful in their own way? I have had days where I look in the mirror and I have some rush of confidence. Those brief moments where I feel confident, beautiful. I accept the fat roll, my thick thighs, and flappy arms and say “hey, actually my body is perfect and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I see singers like Lizzo ( did you see that Grammy performance tho?FLAWLESS) or models like Ashley Graham who inspire me to appreciate myself and love myself for who I am. However, then I open Instagram, a magazine or even Netflix and am overcome by images and videos of beautiful people with the ideal body letting all the negative voices come rushing back.


What I believe the post mentioned at the start of this #loveyourself rant was trying to get at is, that we shouldn’t try to change ourselves for the sake of society and how people think we should act or look. We have to do what we define as success and happiness. Maybe this does mean hitting the gym, but maybe you think, no I’m happy with how I look and what I really want to do is hit the books and learn a new trade or try out a new hobby. For so long we have all been dictated on how to be the ideal women or man that anything that steers away from that means we are not deemed good enough or worthy. Either we are too big, too small, too old, too young, to black, to white, etc, and well frankly I am sick of it. Why is being me, not good enough?


So 2020, this year I am going to do what makes me happy. I am going to live my life how I deem right and I will be unapologetically myself. And I encourage everyone to do the same because no matter what you look like, you are perfect in every way. #LOVEYOURSELF

Do you have a story you would like to share? Comment down below your stories and opinions or use the #lapetiteboss. You can contact me through my social medias, @AltchiAltchi or via my email, lapetitebossblog@gmail.com.

Our New Series DEBUT! ‘15 Minutes With…’ Luca Girotti

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The recent murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and now Rayshard Brooks, have ignited protests around the globe calling to end police brutality and systemic racism. With these protests have come petitions and demands to remove Confederate and colonial-era statues.             The reality is that these statues are hurtful and hateful. When Confederate […]

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Last Monday, on the 25th of May 2020, a black man was killed by a white police officer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The police officer knelt on the black man’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, ultimately murdering him for allegedly forging a 20 dollar bill which later turned out to be false. His name […]

Why I will be voting for Joe Biden in November

Just in case some of you didn’t already know, I will be voting for former Vice President Joe Biden in this year’s US Presidential Election. I know, but before you all start to roll your eyes, please hear me out. I know that many readers aren’t Americans and won’t be voting in this election. Unfortunately, […]

Don’t Call Me a Slut

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”

-Cady, Mean Girls

To quote the infamous movie Mean Girls: “In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”


Many of you will have attended halloween parties this past week, dressing up as witches, cats, vampires and so forth. Many of you girls, will have put on your best mini dresses, low cut halter tops and well, you will have shown some skin, perhaps more than you usually do. So was Cady right when she said that girls dress up “like a total slut” during halloween? I myself attended a party this past Friday wearing a dress tighter and shorter than I would usually wear and while I was dancing the question did come up in my mind, was I being a hypocrite? Could I be a feminist if I was wearing clothing that was so revealing? Was I now “a total slut?”


What even is the meaning of slut? Today anybody can be called a slut. It has become a term to degrade usually women, to make them feel inferior, insecure. According to some I was a slut just because of what I wore, to others I was not a slut because as Merriam Webster defines it, a slut is “a promiscuous woman a woman who has many sexual partners.” Either way, it usually has a negative connotation, made to put a women down. However,  I believe that despite this, we should start changing the narrative behind the word. The term could become empowering if we decide to see it as something powerful. If it means that, as a women to be allowed to express my sexual freedom, to be confident and comfortable in my own body  means being called a slut, than you know what, I will wear that title with pride. We have the power to take back the word and make it something that doesn’t necessarily have to be negative but can become something that is powerful and that a modern day women doesn’t have to fear of being called. However, this does mean that for a starter, girls to must stop slut-shaming one another. 

Photo credits: Victoria R, Pinterest


As even Cady indicated in her statement, it aren’t the boys who necessarily slut-shame but it are the girls. “No other girls can say anything else about it.” It aren’t the boys we are afraid to be slut shamed by but the girls. If we girls and women want to be seen as equals, we have to in the first instance stop putting one another down.How can we achieve anything if we remain fractured and cruel to one another? If a 100 years ago ,when the first feminist wave occurred women of colour, class,education and sexual orientation had seen one another as equal and fought together than maybe we would have achieved more by now. If we stop making one another insecure by labelling girls as whores and slut-shaming them behind their backs then maybe that one girl who got called a slut for wearing a low cut top now wouldn’t be ashamed of her body. Or that other girl who got judged for choosing to express her sexual freedom now would think herself worthy of love and not have believed that she was a whore. Or maybe that girl who wore a short skirt wouldnt believe that it was her fault that she got raped…


What we say has more impact than we know. Terms such as slut and whore are not just damaging to the individual but society as a whole. The Unslut Project is an organisation aimed to fight against sexual bullying as the consequences can be everlasting. Little girls growing to believe that expressing their sexuality and being confident is wrong. Putting one another down becomes a never ending cycle of hatred, dividing one another when really we need to be united. I encourage you all to check out this organisation and educate yourself and one another on the detrimental results caused by sexual bullying.Their website contains stories and videos of victims harmed by labels such as slut.    

The Unslut Project.com


So to link it back to Cady’s quote, yes maybe she was right that halloween is that one time a year where a girl will dress up as a total slut because it is the only time where she can truly be confident in who she is. She in that one night is truly powerful as she expresses her freedom and is comfortable without the risk of being judged. It is the one night where girls don’t slut shame one another and look at what an impact it has. 

Do you have a story you would like to share? Comment down below your stories and opinions or use the #lapetiteboss. You can contact me through my social medias, @AltchiAltchi or via my email, lapetitebossblog@gmail.com.

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    October 5, 2019 by

    Feminism-what is it? Now, I know what most of you are all thinking. I know what a feminist is, they are tomboys, with short hair who hate men. Or maybe you are thinking, it’s those extremists that parade shirtless in the streets, marching for their right to “free the nipple.” Or maybe you believe that… Read more

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    Yes, John Lewis was an American hero. But John Lewis was actually so much more than that. He was the greatest American to ever live.             That is not to say that the Founding Fathers weren’t patriots or that Abraham Lincoln didn’t love the USA, but no one loved and believed in our country the… Read more

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    The recent murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and now Rayshard Brooks, have ignited protests around the globe calling to end police brutality and systemic racism. With these protests have come petitions and demands to remove Confederate and colonial-era statues.             The reality is that these statues are hurtful and hateful. When Confederate… Read more

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This week on Personality

Hey Everyone! This week’s episode we will be having the BioTech Society! They will be coming to promote their event Bio -Hackathon, a scientific student start-up competition.

Then, me and Rol-J will have a controversial discussion inspired by current events. We will debate the question ‘Is there a time limit on how long a government can be held accountable for crimes of the past?’

We will talk about the two following events which both of us have respectively researched in depth:

° Turkey and the Armenian Genocide => Rol-J will be the Devil’s advocate.

° Transatlantic Slavery and Reparations => I will be the Devil’s advocate.

Looking like a million dollars (but on a budget)

 For anyone who knows me, they will say that I have an addiction when it comes to clothes. I of course have no clue what they are talking about, but I do love a good shopping spree and admiring the fashion kings and queens that walk this earth . I can’t help it, its in my blood! Both my parents adore shopping and dressing up so it really is no surprise that I turned out the way I did.


However, it comes at a price. My wallet often suffers and being a student, I live life broke. I never know where my money goes but hey, its worth it. Therefore, to further fuel my addiction, I have discovered new ways of shopping. I can’t say that I “discovered” new ways of shopping as they have always existed, but I am bringing the attention back to some of the forgotten tips and tricks that we especially as students need. 

Sales

This seems like an obvious one but sales is an easy way to save money. Most shops and online stores have all year round sales and because I am a cheapskate I usally just buy things from the sale section. I rarely pay the full price for my items because one, I’m broke, two, I’m cheap and thirdly, when buying from brands like h&m, zara, forever 21 etc., these items were made for very low costs and the prices usually are higher than they should be, so I just am not prepared to pay the full price when I know that in a couple weeks it will be half the price.

Raid your parents closet

You’d be surprised what your parents have but trust me, you should have dig in their closets because they will have things that now are back in fashion. I am fortunate that my mother has always had a pretty good sense of fashion and, while she is much taller than me, I have somehow figured ways to style her clothes to my liking. Not to forget, fashion always repeats itself. Those flared jeans that were so stylish in the 70’s have made a comeback, or what about skater skirts which are modern versions of the petticoat skirts?  Trust me, go have a look, because not only will the clothes be happy to be worn again, but out of experience, you will always get tons of compliments on your old school outfits.

Dress from my wonderful mother and belt and bag from my grandmother

Thrift stores, kilo stores and charity shops… the new heaven 

Out of experience, I can tell you that thrift stores and charity shops have become the new playground for shopaholics like me. These are the easiest ways to save money and still find the most amazing things. Of course, some energy and determination is needed to take the effort to dig into the boxes and fight the overflowing clothing rails but usually you are rewarded. And sometimes you can be really lucky. I for one have had some very lucky finds, a Burberry skirt for 16 euros, a blazer from scotch and soda for 10 euros, a party dress for 4 euros and even a prom dress for 86 euros(which actually used to be like 300 euros) and well I could continue but then I would just be bragging. More appreciation should be brought to thrift stores, kilo stores and charity stores as they will save you money and even the planet as we learn to recycle clothes more.  

Tip: Don’ be afraid to go to the opposite genders clothing section because as we know, gender is a construct and clothing tends to enforce it. i personally love looking in the mens section, especially when it comes to finding oversized t-shirts and graphic t-shirts.

Pants thrifted, top (again) from my wonderful mother

Social Media and Apps to the rescue 

There today are multiple apps in which we can easily sell and buy second hand clothing through apps and save our coins while still looking stylish AF. An example of this would be Depop. Now I’ll be honest, I haven’t used the app yet as sadly enough it is mostly based in the UK and not in The Netherlands, where I live. However, if you are in that area or happen to be in America, where like minded apps exist, your life will be so much easier, or at least the life of your wallet. It will also save your closet as I can say that currently, I am having a clothing epidemic as I just have too much stuff. So these apps also make sure that you can get rid of clothes you dont wear and make room for new clothes! Depending in your area, maybe with some research, a similar app exists where you live and for all you fellow dutch readers, if you do know of one comment down below and help a shopaholic out. 

Online shopping…

Many of us have experienced the late night shopping benders, filling up our carts with everything we wish and desire to have, only have those dreams shattered by the shocking bill at the end. Yes, I can just imagine all you readers just nodding your head and dreaming of all the things we wished we had. Its a sad truth BUT luckily after this article you’ll know all the tips and tricks and with this last one, I will also save you from the ridiculous bills at the end of late night shopping benders.  Of late, the craziest rage has been online stores such as Fashion Nova, Pretty Little Things, Misguided and so on. They are all popular stores that often have cute things which have somewhat of a decent price. Now for some, this still is too expensive, so let me introduce you to Shein. Shein too is a similar store but is even cheaper! Yes you read right, CHEAPER! Of course I’ll be honest, the quality isn’t always amazing (can’t be for the price you pay) so I advice reading the comments always to see what people have said but if you don’t mind clothes that only last for one season, then this is for you.  I have bought stuff there in the past and have 90% of the time been happy with what I got. Some failed items did make it to my garbage bin but that is little compared to the items that till this day, I still enjoy wearing. Read the comments, and stay away from jeans but otherwise go wild and you’ll be amazed with the cute and cheap stuff you’ll find. 

P.S. Also check sizing ALWAYS    

Well these are some of my tips and tricks that I use frequently and well they have never failed me and even better, saved me hundreds as a shopaholic! Comment down below or use the hashtag #lapetiteboss with your tips and tricks.  

Feminism-Let’s talk about it

Feminism-what is it? Now, I know what most of you are all thinking. I know what a feminist is, they are tomboys, with short hair who hate men. Or maybe you are thinking, it’s those extremists that parade shirtless in the streets, marching for their right to “free the nipple.” Or maybe you believe that they are a group of individuals, purely fighting for their rights, their right to vote, to have equal access to education, to not be discriminated based on their sex in the workplace and to be able to walk the streets at night without being harrased. 

There are so many different definitions of what people believe is feminism. Back in the 1900’s we had WKKK (Women of the Ku Klux Klan) who yes, were racists and anti-catholics, however did fight for white protestant women’s right to be seen as equal to their white, protestant male counterparts. Would they be considered feminists? Or what about the concept of White Feminism? They fight for women’s equal right while at the same time oprressing non-white women, but are they still feminists? Or what about the organization one million moms, who fight to have their voices heard and to end the exploitation of children by the media, yet boycotted Toy Story 3 due to a scene that hinted support for the LGBTQ+ community. Feminists or homophobes? I could go on because there are so many different definitions but arguably so, they are feminists. I say this with care because they are not the feminist definitions that I agree with but it cannot be denied that down to the core, they are fighting for their right as women and to not be discriminated based on gender. 

Photo credits to: 5 Misconceptions about Feminism– Her Campus.com

 Now let’s take a road down memory lane. Back in my senior year of high school, I was persuaded into becoming the co-president of the feminist society. Even though I already considered myself a feminist, I had never seen myself as someone who could lead a society. Being a relative timid person, this was a huge step, but looking back it was a great experience and I learned a lot from it. There was one thing in particular that I will never forget. During the fair in which I was doing my best to recruit members to join the society, I noticed that about 90% of the people who came to visit our booth, were female. The other 10% were boys, the majority who laughed and walked away. I couldn’t understand why. Were the boys against equality? Then this one 9th grade boy came up to me and asked the question I will never forget. “Do you guys like hate on men?” …I think I could have exploded. So, let’s make one thing clear once and for all. No, feminists DO NOT hate men. We want to be seen equal to men. We want to be treated equally and to be seen as humans. Not as objects or pieces of meat who can be harassed, subordinated and ignored. We want to be treated with respect and dignity. That is what feminism is all about. It’s not about hating on men and overpowering them but it’s this fight to prove that we are worthy and that it is our human right to be treated as humans.  

People’s definitions of what feminism entails will differ because we all have different goals of what we want. Me for example, I want to show that I can be a feminist without having to make riots, without having to hide my body and that my definition of feminism is defined by however I want to define it. I consider myself, a lisptick feminist. I only recently came across this term through a friend who called me that and it perfectly describes me. I am a fashion victim and a makeup addict who happens to be a feminist. I was shocked when my own father once said “ how can you be a feminist if you like makeup and clothes?”( sorry dad, throwing you under the bus here but I know that in your heart your a feminist too). So yes, I am girly and happen to conform to my genders stereotype in many ways, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am a feminist and that I fight for the rights for girls to have equal oppertunities so that they can grow up feeling like they can be whoever they want to be and can achieve their dreams. My definition of feminism doesn’t just end with gender though.I also believe that as a feminist I don’t just believe in equality when it comes to gender, but also in equality when it comes to race, religion, sexual orientation and so forth. As a lipstick feminist, I believe in equality for all human beings. 

“As a lipstick feminist, I believe in equality for all human beings.”

I am not afraid to call myself a feminist because I believe that I shouldn’t be judged about who I am, purely based on the gender that was assigned to me. So what is your definition of feminism? Comment down below or use the hashtag #lapetiteboss with your definition of feminism.