Ah, love. What a beautiful thing isn’t it? As many of you know yesterday was Valentine’s Day, a day where people wait for their secret lovers to send a love letter, where boyfriends stress about the perfect gift to give or the day that singletons (lol, me) despise. To be fair, Valentine has never been a day that I particularly loved. It literally is a day where people show off that someone cares about them and yes, on the one hand, it is super cute, on the other very annoying and exhausting. In the end, the whole day is one commercial feast for shops, restaurants, and hotels, designed to make the lonely people feel even more lonely and a day to encourage all those in love to empty out there wallets. Yes, now I know what you are thinking, I’m just saying this because I am single (taking applications for possible boyfriends, by the way, wink wink) but no, that is not the reason while I do admit it may play a role. For me personally, I don’t want to receive gifts just because someone designed a day on which all those in relationships or possible relationships feel obliged to give something. I’d much rather prefer to be surprised on a random day with a rose (in my case a pink rose, applicants take notes). I expect to be shown that I am loved every day and not just a couple days a year.
With that said, my next issue with valentines is the idea that love and respect can be bought. Of course, I love to be surprised with roses, or even better chocolates now and then but to me that is not what love is about. Love is shown through respect, honesty, and trust. It is shown through the small gestures in a relationship, just simple gestures to let the person know that you care about them. If a relationship is based on the idea that you can buy someone’s love, then the relationship is doomed from the start. I’m not talking just about lovey-dovey relationships but also just in friendships and family. Of course, I did get my bestie a box of chocolates, guess that makes me a hypocrite, but our friendship is based on trust and respect and partially me judging her decisions in life. I show my love for her by being a listener, by helping her and by making sure she doesn’t do stupid things alone.
Whenever I think of lonely people on Valentine’s Day I get this image of Bridget Jones, the scene where she spends her birthday getting drunk with the song “All by my self” playing in the background. I wonder whether that is the feeling that society is trying to get us lonely guys and gals to feel. It is another one of those wonderful norms of society that if we are alone, we are not good enough or that we are doing something wrong. Why is it so wrong to just crawl into bed, sip some wine with a box of chocolates and watch a rom-com alone? To be honest that sounds so appealing to me right now. If you don’t feel comfortable being alone now and then, then that says something about the love and respect you have for yourself. Self-love is about being comfortable with yourself and with who you are without needing the constant validation of others. The best validation is that of yourself and no matter how many likes or friends you have, it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t love yourself.
With that said, you are never alone. No, you may not currently have a lover, but you have your friends and family that love you and care about you and it is important to let them know that you love them too, not just on a day like Valentine but every day. Life is too short to do anything but love.
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